A Success Formula in 10 Easy Steps

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." —Winston Churchill

We are the consequence of our past and at the same time the cause of our future. This means that right now we are creating our future with our every thought and with our every action. Let's see how.

We all accomplish goals in our personal life, in school and on the job. So I have a question for you: "Whose goals are you accomplishing?" Are these really your goals or are they imposed upon you?

For, how do we explain that 2% of the population has 90% of the wealth in the world? This is a well-known fact. Another question comes to mind: are you among the 2%?

Set your own goals and act to accomplish them or someone else will hire you to accomplish theirs! Be the part of the 2%!

What is Your Goal?

It doesn't matter where we are coming from. The only thing that matters is where we are going. Do you know where you are going? Do you really, exactly know your way?

If you do, I encourage you to proceed! But, if you don't, I must ask you: "What is your goal?"

That is a crucial step most people don't take time to consider. Truth is, the answer is in you. Maybe your mind doesn't realize it yet. But your heart does - and you can discover the answer when you are in the Alfa state of mind, which happens during meditation, for example.

Only connecting to your inner self can lead you to your true self and help you get an honest, ego-less answer to the question: "What is my goal?" When you manage to "find it out", set is as your priority, make an action plan, decide to accomplish it and do it!

Decision Comes First.

Decision is just the first step, but actions are every step after that first one.

Do you know the story about the three frogs that are standing beside a lake and then one frog decides to jump in? How many frogs are now beside the lake? Three. For one frog decided to jump, but it never did! Don't be that frog.

The Missing Key Without Which all Else Crumbles.
You can learn verified practical techniques for bettering your own mind, or emotional development techniques, and then techniques to further your intellectual skills; you can even find management tools, problem-solving tools, etc. The Internet is full of instructors. Books about self-development are all around us. But why do many of them not work?

Because the most important thing is missing: Until it is explicitly clear exactly where we should apply these techniques and how they will help, how can we know we are on the right track and that the techniques won't just hurt us?

Why you aren't satisfied.

But first answer this: Have you set your own goals? And if you did, what are you doing to accomplish them?

If you want to be successful and satisfied, then the first thing that you must do is to set your goals. Here are 10 points to help you realize whether the goals you've set are the right for you.

Success Formula

You are the only one who knows what is best for yourself. Find it IN you. Create your own peace and find out what your desires are. Make a connection with your inner self. Transform your desires to goals. Find out what your main goal is! Set your own main goal. Create an action plan, set time limit and do it! Reach it! Live it! Excellence exists in you. Be the excellence. Sense your feelings and listen to them. Do whatever it takes to feel good. Stick to it. Act. Do it! If you fail, do it again and again. Try and try again. No one has succeeded doing something big in their first attempt.

Source:   http://www.articlebiz.com/article/1051635629-1-a-success-formula-in-10-easy-steps/

Get it before it expires- The Classics Seminar - Part 3 - Shifting Your Paradigm - Bob Proctor - @bobproctorLIVE -#TuesdayMotivation

IT ALL STARTS WITH A PARADIGM SHIFT

IT ALL STARTS WITH A PARADIGM SHIFT

The Classics Seminar - Part 2 - Shifting Your Paradigm - Bob Proctor @bobproctorLIVE

Learning to Recognize Your Ego

By: Sonia Devine

What is an ego?

Well, in case you didn't know it, we all have one. The ego is the logical rational part of your mind that allows you to separate yourself from other people. You use it each and every day to weigh up situations, people and circumstances in the process of making rational decisions. When I say "I am Sonia Devine", I am identifying with this part... MY ego.

Sometimes the Ego is associated with an inflated sense of pride or arrogance. As an example, when we talk about a person who is behaving arrogantly, people often say this person has a "huge Ego".

But it's a lot more than that. It has a definite purpose. It is responsible for organizing the different elements of the Self to create some wholeness and integration. All of us require this to function effectively as human beings.

So how does this fit in with your self esteem? When we focus too much on this part, we begin to become separated from the rest of humanity, and outside forces have more control over us.

For example, does the quality of your self image rely on any of the following?

• How much money you have
• What you do for a living
• Who you know
• How you look
• Where you live
• What kind of car you drive

If you are defined by what you do for a living, then your self esteem is at the mercy of this factor. So if you lose your job, where does this leave you? Would you still like and respect yourself if you were broke?

It is within your nature to be conditioned to go after these superficial achievements, but I'll let you in on a secret; 

they have absolutely nothing to do with who you are! You're so much more than your physical body. Your soul is perfect just as it is, and it will continue to live on after you exit the Earth.

All of us are connected by collective consciousness. When you are able to see past the ego, you learn to cultivate true self-reliance. You accept yourself as the perfect being that you are AT THIS VERY MOMENT- not for who you will be once you have had your hair fixed or gotten in with the right crowd.

When you can get past the ego, you experience true self love - and this comes from your higher wisdom. Your knowledge, your compassion, your strength are perfect - and these things are permanent.

Source- http://www.articlegeek.com/self-improvement/self_improvement/learn_to_recognize_your_ego.htm

Bob Proctor - The Classics Seminar || Day 1 - @bobproctorLIVE

We Make 80,000 Thoughts Per Day! via @siamkidd

"Your BRAIN Doesn't CARE About HAPPINESS!" | Marisa Peer (@MarisaPeer)

More about Marisa Peer. She struggled with an eating disorder for 20 years. She has spent nearly three decades treating a client list that includes CEOs and Olympic athletes. She's a Therapist & Pioneering Hypnotherapist Trainer. In addition to being a national magazine columnist, she has appeared on major media outlets. She's a best-selling author of four books. She's a highly sought-after speaker. She has appeared on countless television programs and news channels. She's listed in the Tatler guide to Britain’s 250 Best Doctors.

5 Things You MUST Know To Achieve Incredible Success - @drjohndemartini

Dr. John Demartini shares his advice on what it takes to achieve the ultimate level of success in life... To live in your purpose and to leave this earth with immortal impact.

What Is Happiness? - An Extremely Advanced Definition Of Happiness VIA @LeoGura1

What Is Happiness - If you come to accept and live this definition of happiness you can permanently end all suffering, forever!

Video Summary: At a deep level, happiness is an elusive state that few actually achieve. What we typically mistake for happiness is actually just excitement as a result of external stimuli. There's certainly no shortage of stimuli in our world today. We have literally become addicted to the elevated mood we get from daring feats, exceptional food, an absorbing movie, or cruising the internet. When that thrill is over, we are already hungering for the next. Our ego encourages us to stay on this unending roller coaster ride of highs and lows, telling us that's just the nature of life. In truth, we've become creators of the drama in our life on which we're now hooked. Devoid of stimulation, our body goes into withdrawal much like that of an addict. Our minds have grown lazy with all the easy thrills, and we've distorted the arc of our life with all these cheap diversions. Unfortunately, true happiness is an inside job. To find it, we must first unplug and seek it. Meditation and deep contemplation will shrink the ego's influence so that we can find inner peace.

Why you need multiple tools to reach Financial Independence! via @siamKidd

- Why you need multiple tools to reach Financial Independence. - Why people are misunderstanding how to use Compounding Interest. - Why you should NEVER accept that 10% ROI is a good ROI. - How to leap frog up the Compounding Interest curve. - Why you need to make a MINIMUM of 25% ROI until you're Financially Independent. - Why Trading alone won't make you rich. You have to combine it with other assets. - Why property isn't all it's made up to be. Capital intensive, shit yield and illiquid. - Why Trading is a life-skill and a way to profit from Market Crashes. - Why you need to do the thing that is relevant to the boat that you are...

The EntrepreneurSHIPS: Which ship are you? vis @siamKidd

How Stress Causes Weight Gain

By Lana Nelson

Stress is a natural reaction in humans and animals.

The key word is reaction. Each person reacts differently to that which they perceive as stress. Some people are very sensitive to changes in the energy around them. What is a grievous stressor to one person might not bother another person at all.

What is Stress?

Psychologist Richard Lazarus refers to stress as any event in which environmental demands, internal demands, or both tax or exceed an individual’s adaptive resources. If your life seems calm and normal you might think your psychological stress is low, but dieting, over exercising, insomnia, infections, poor dental hygiene, environmental toxins, and even the political situation can be causing you subconscious stress.

Your body can handle acute or short-term stress quite well and recover from it, but you are not built to handle the chronic, unrelenting stress so rampant in our society today.

Dr. Peter Levine said that our stress response is designed to last about forty-five seconds, not twenty-four hours or day after day. Constant stress causes the body to be “turned on” all the time, and not in a good way.

Fight, Flight or Freeze

The sympathetic nervous system, which stimulates bodily functions, goes haywire and the adrenal system gets stuck in the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. These systems stay turned on like a car alarm constantly blaring in the background.

The adrenal glands are small, triangular endocrine glands that sit on top of the kidneys waiting patiently to be called to duty. Their major role is to release hormones like cortisol and adrenaline in response to stress.

Stress activates or depresses several functions in the body. Digestion is halted. The hypothalamus gland signals the adrenal system, and the sympathetic nervous system shoots impulses through the body. The heart beats faster, muscles tense, eyes dilate, and the mouth gets dry. This reaction has been named the fight or flight response.

The body can’t tell the difference between being chased by a tiger or getting stuck in traffic; it just senses stress and kicks into gear.

Beyond fight and flight there is a third reaction to stress: freeze. Your body can stop you right in your tracks like a deer in the headlights. An overwhelming trauma can instantly stun you with a wave of hopelessness when it appears you have no chance for conquest or escape. Your blood pressure quickly drops when you freeze, and you can fall or faint. The parasympathetic branch of the nervous system, which calms you down to rest and digest, clamps down and takes over from the freeze response.

Your Digestive System at a Stand Still

Any way your body deals with stress, whether it be fight, flight, or freeze, halts your digestive system. Stress can make you sick and fat, and the food you eat might be doing no good for you at all.

Stress can be real and tangible or imagined. Imagined stress causes worry. Your body reacts to worry in the same way it does to actual stressful situations.

Good vs Bad Stress

There is good stress and bad stress. Good stress, called eustress, is caused by things like buying a new house, getting married, and going to a party. You process good stress in the same way as the bad stress I discussed above.

What about guilt? Ever beat yourself up for how you look or what you eat? Ever compare yourself to others and feel ugly? Thinking negatively about your appearance, eating patterns, or weight adds an additional load of stress and sends you scurrying for a glass of wine or a jumbo order of nachos.

Conditions in our environment can be stressful on the body, too, such as the changing of the season. Heat and cold can create stress, whether you’re indoors or out.

Now What?

The bottom line is this; you will have stress in your life. How you deal with it is absolutely essential to your health. Often, people reach for unhealthy foods to combat stress. This is likely one of the worst things to do.

Sure, in the short term, it’s not all that bad. But any behavior repeated over and over becomes a habit. Some habits are good, others are not so good.

Avoid the habit of “stuffing” your stress with food.

Rather, look for positive habits to form, such as meditation, exercise and movement to reduce your stress.

Your body will thank you for this.

Source - https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how-stress-causes-weight-gain

The Definition of Love #Valentine #ValentinesDay

by - Ambalal M. Patel 

What do you seek when you think of pure and unconditional love? Does one truely mean ‘love’ in saying ‘I love you’? The truth is that we accept what we think is ‘love’ in multiple ways.

No one, except the Gnani Purush understands and applies the absolute definition for the word ‘love’?

‘That which increases one moment and decreases the next, is not love:

That which resides in the heart and remains the same, is real love.’ - Gnani Purush Dada Bhagwan (Reciting Kabir)

For example, during a fight between a father and son, it can be seen that the father shows his love in the form of protection which is projected by this scolding when the son does not listen in the moment. Another way can be projected when a girl’s boyfriend gifts her a box of chocolates and roses. She will say, “This is a symbol of his love for me.” However, how can one be sure that this is love? How does the scolding of a father, which seems so negative, show something as positive as love? In addition, how can one determine the love of two people by kind gestures such as giving gift?

Generally, we do not understand what love truely is or how it can be given or recieved. Luckily, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan describes the exact meaning of love by disecting and explaining the different characteristics of what Pure Love is:

• Love remains within normal bounds
• Love is sincere
• Love does not see faults
• Real love has NO motives
• Love is selfless
• Love has no limitations
• Love arises from absolute detachment
• There is no emotion in love

• Where there is love, there is liberation.

In further explanation, love remains in normal bounds or remains in equaniminty. Under this, the characteristic of love (stated above) are all linked together. For example, if a wife claims to love her husband but feels hate for him only when he scolds her, then that is not love.
Love is a like a constant variable in a science equation. It has to remain and cannot change. This means love has to be constant, it cannot increase nor diminish at any given moment no matter the circumstances. If it fluctuates, then it will be considered infatuation and attraction. “Real love should not break under any circumstances. It can only be called love if it never breaks. That is the test of love. However, whatever love there is which is of any worth, it is the love of a mother.” explained by Gnani Purush Dada Bhagwan.

Therefore, in love that is true, one should not see faults in any one for anything even if they attempt to hurt you. This is sincere love. With eliminating faults from one’s vision, sincerity takes place in love. Just as the Gnani Purush does not see faults in anyone at all no matter what their past or present events represents of themselves. This love of the Gnani Purush is pure because he loves everyone equally with no motive. He may not personally know everyone but this love can still be felt in his presence because he has no selfish means to seek from anyone. Pure love will always remain constant and without attachment. This is why there should be no emotion in pure love.

There must not be sadness or excessive happiness, this is not love. There is no plus or minus, give or take, in love. Gnani Purush Dada Bhagwan says, “Until one attains the state where one becomes free of all insistence, the love of the world will not be acquired”. With this pure love, one can seek liberation. This liberation is full of infinite bliss and pure love.

In order to begin applying Pure Love to life, one must be aware of the Pure Soul. The Gnani Purush attains this knowledge that can be received by attending Gnan Vidhi. Once one’s self, the Soul, is realized and kept in awareness, one can see and use the applications of these characteristics in Pure Love.

Soure- https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/the-definition-of-love

So...Do YOU Love YourSelf? Would YOU Be Your Valentine?! #Valentine #LoveYourself

By  Rhonda Maria Farrah MA

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad, you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you. –Unknown

Loving YourSelf is the single most important principle…on this planet… in the creation process. If you don't love yourself, it is likely that you won't decide to give yourself the things you think you want. Likely that you don't think you deserve them…and even more that you certainly won't have the energy to take action to create them. Of this I am certain!

When we were born, most of us were the center of the Universe. Remember? Everything revolved around us and our welfare. And then around age 2, socialization took over and familial and societal rules demanded the giving up of Self. Remember that… share the toy you want, don't ask for what you want, don't want. Good little girls and boys didn't do those things. Now we're adults screaming, "Why can't I create what I want?" Hey…I know!

It's time to reclaim that little person inside that knew they were good enough, smart enough, brave enough, and special enough to ask for, and get, what they wanted. It's been so long that most of us have lost the art of even knowing how to ask for what we want. Take it from me…It’s time!

In my speaking engagements and seminars, often, when I ask for people to state the above, I get responses like… "I don't want to worry about money anymore," and "I don't want to be alone," or "I don't want this dis-ease, illness…this sickness." Nobody says what they want!! They tell me what they want by stating what they DON'T want. Wow…what’s that about???!!!

It doesn't tell me what anyone wants. It doesn't give me clear direction. That is what most of us are doing with the Universe, and the Universe is replying… "Hey…YOU…I don't understand the direction. Say What? I can't deliver the performance…that which your Soul is requesting and craving!"

I say we all give ourselves permission to love ourselves enough to give us - and the Creative Force - a very clear statement of desire for manifestation…that is, Abundance, Wellness, Freedom, Love, Bliss, Harmony, Peace, Grace & Happiness. I AM, and create, all in my life because I create me as these experiences within first. Match THAT, Universe. And the Universe says, "Yes."

We all want money. Ask for it. We all want love and passion. Ask for it. We all want wellness and unlimited energy. Ask for it. What are we waiting for? Really!

The original meaning of the ancient Hebrew teaching "Ask and you receive" …was "Claim or Demand...and you receive." Well, I am stepping forward to claim and demand the attributes of freedom, love, etc. to perfectly match up with the money and passion I claim. Really! Also… that all is good, in integrity, and unconditional love for all concerned…

And, I AM standing in my Knowing that when I experience my own love and power, I give everyone the excitement, right, and power to do the same.

And the Universe says "Yes". The Universe says - "YES…your wish is my command!"

While I invite my audiences to consider a number of avenues to loving…yes, truly loving Self…I will leave you with what I consider the essentials of same…Loving YourSelf! They remain…

Treat others with love and respect. Bringing joy to other people's lives will help you find joy in your own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude. However, don't just be very kind to people so you can receive royal treatment.

Learn to let go of past events. You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives/bad beginnings or moments. Don't close yourself out because of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from them. Forgive those who have done you wrong. Most importantly, though, forgive yourSelf.

Forgive yourSelf. Don't punish yourSelf for something you have done in the past. Instead, look at that experience (some say "mistake") as a learning experience. Say to yourSelf now: “I forgive mySelf for _______.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourSelf. Look yourSelf right in the eyes and speak forgiveness like you mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourSelf. If you do, laugh out loud, realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new beginning. If you did something you are not proud of, resolve to never do it again and take steps to keep it out of your mind.

Do what you love. What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your Authentic Self. As a result, you become happier and more loving. sk YourSelf…What makes my tail wag?!

Treat yourself like treating your very best friend. How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourSelf? Practice treating yourSelf like you treat your very best friend by saying kind words to yourSelf. Stop calling yourSelf names. Stop beating yourSelf up. Give yourSelf compliments. Know your boundaries and listen deeply to your needs. Always be kind and gentle with yourSelf.

Nurture yourself. Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourSelf, just by yourSelf. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourSelf. You can nurture yourself physically by exercising and consuming healthy food. You can nurture yourself emotionally by listening to love songs, painting, or helping others in need. As you give yourSelf to others and offer help, you receive the gift of love back. You feel good about yourSelf because you live your life on purpose. You can nurture yourSelf mentally by reading your favorite books. You can nurture yourSelf spiritually by doing meditation.

We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.

Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. Loving yourSelf is mainly having self-respect which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourSelf as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourSelf will only enhance your ability to love others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life. This guide will help. Never think that you're living your life for nothing. Every day, there are people coming in and out of the world, so spend it wisely and respect yourSelf.

In order to love someone, you must love YourSelf! Of this, I AM certain!

To Our Health, Wealth & Empowerment Together!
With Love & Blessings!
Rhonda

Source -  https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/sodo-you-love-yourself-would-you-be-your-valentine-0

13 Questions to Know if They're the One for You - #valentine

By Dr Carmen Harra

Few things are as exciting as the prospect of new love; you light up at the idea of having found a person who cares, who can give you the love you deserve, who’s just right for you. Yet at the same time, you hesitate: But is he the right person? You wonder one thing: Is he the one for me?

In order to answer that question, you must first understand why you met this person: some people come into your life for a season and others to teach you a lesson. But everyone comes for a reason. Through careful introspection and the honest answers to a few questions, you can recognize your partner's predestined role in your life. Reflect on these questions to determine the compatibility, quality, and durability of your love:

1. What does your future look like? Can you imagine building together? Can you envision yourself growing old with this person? If your partner possesses serious character flaws, such as addiction, abusive tendencies, or pathological lying, you may not realistically see a future by his side. Visualize your relationship in five, 10, even 20 years down the road. How do you expect it to change? Even more importantly, how do you expect it to evolve?

2. How does he regard family? Does he have close ties with his familymembers? Is family a priority? Even if your partner has experienced familial rifts, has he cared enough to try to work things out? The way in which a person tends to his family speaks volumes about the way he will treat you when you become a part of his household.

3. Can you both compromise? If ever there were a secret to a lasting relationship, it is compromise. Do you and your partner believe in compromise over separation? Is he willing to give and take with you on essential matters? A relationship without compromise is a road with a guaranteed dead end.

4. Do you speak the same language? By language, I don't mean having the same system of speech; I refer to mentality. Do you share the same views and aims? Similar morals and values? Partners who have parallel goals are more likely to remain together than those whose ambitions span in opposite directions.

5. What emotions does he trigger? A person who evokes mostly anxiety, worry, and pain is not the right person for you. But a person who steadies the emotions within you, bringing tranquility and harmony, is like water to a rose garden; this is a partner who can help you bloom into your highest, most incredible self. Remember that the greatest gift anyone can give you is peace of mind.

6. Do you need him? Partners who are meant to be don't just want each other, they need each other. Theirs is a union that swims a deep ocean. After a hard day, they yearn for each other’s embrace. They need the consoling words of their other half, their healing presence and unique touch. This kind of love transcends wanting—it’s a longing from the seat of the soul. So ask yourself: Do you need him?

7. How does he compare to other partners? Have you brought into your life a partner who’s a copy of a former love? Or does this person hold positive qualities that previous partners lacked? If you don't completely heal from and resolve the karma of past relationships, it's likely that you’ll attract a similar companion once more. Compare the patterns that existed in preceding relationships with your present love to ensure that you're making progress.

8. Can you tolerate his weaknesses? Relationships require a certain degree of tolerance that will undoubtedly test your patience. Can you "stand" all of your partner's faults? Every one of his bad habits and ill manners? Similarly, do you appreciate his way of being? Can you genuinely adapt to his taste? Unconditional love calls that we accept our partner’s weaknesses in the same way as his strengths.

9. Do you see potential for improvement? Human beings are highly prone to error. The fact is that you’ll never find a "perfect" partner; we all need a bit of work. Every person who walks through your life will leave flawed footprints. What does matter is a person's potential to improve in time, and what makes someone a good partner is his willingness to better himself each day.

10. Do you share a soulful bond? A soulmate is like the missing piece of our puzzle. Soulful bonds and far and few but when they do occur, they're obvious to both partners and pass the test of time. One of my previous entries, "The 10 Elements of a Soulmate," outlines telltale soulmate signs. Among them is a strong feeling of déjà vu, an us-against-the-world mentality, a curious intensity, and a comforting sense of security.

11. What has he taught you? The right partner will double as your teacher. Two souls in sync will have much to learn from one another. Whether they are lessons in love, work, finances, forgiveness, or any other element of life, the ideal partner will motivate your mind to expand and your spirit to evolve.

12. Is he generous? Not just to you, but to others. While you won’t be offered everything on a silver platter, you do deserve a partner who's fair and gives back as much as he takes. Does he gift you freely with his time, affection, and attention? Such rewards are invaluable.

13. Do you expect miracles? Often you can anticipate the course of your relationship before it unfolds. When I met my husband, I instantly saw the miracles that would manifest between us: taking our first steps into our new home and holding our newborn daughter for the first time. I just knew that with this person, such beautiful things were bound to happen. The right kind of love offers you hope and the right partner makes you believe in miracles. So what blessings do you feel will develop in your own relationship?

Sharing chemistry with someone is a rare treasure. But knowing early on whether a partner is right for you is equally necessary. Think about the answers to these 13 questions to discover your partner's true place in your life and reveal if he's really the one.

To finding the one,

Dr. Carmen Harra

Source - https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/13-questions-to-know-if-theyre-the-one-for-you

Guided Meditation for Taking Care of Yourself and Cultivating Self-Love

This is a guided meditation to take you on a journey of relaxation. You cannot give what you do not have. Fill yourself up with love. It will reduce your stress level, as well as improve your overall health and well being when practiced regularly. Headphones recommended for optimal experience. Do not listen while driving. Meditation written and read by Sara Raymond

How Marie Kondo can Help You Fall in Love With Your Partner

by - Sheryl Paul,  MA 


Anxious people aren’t typically the most easy-going people on the planet. Because our high sensitivity wires us for hypervigilance, which then causes us to scan the horizon for danger, we’re physiologically primed to have a more tightly-wound nervous system. Unless you received guidance as a child for how to work with this propensity to worry, all of those worry-strands continued to coalesce and gather strength in your body and psyche over the years, forming a tightly wound ball of twine until it reached a breaking point. The anxiety can focus on any topic, the most common being relationships, sexual orientation, health, money/career, parenting, and death.

When you can identify your personality type (tightly wound hence the need to control), you can see how this trait would easily transfer to your most intimate relationships. About once a year I fall in love with a series on Netflix. Two years ago it was Grace and Frankie; last year it was Queer Eye; and now it’s Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Yes, I’ve fallen into the craze, and I’m loving every minute of it. But of course when I watch any kind of television (which is rare) I’m also looking for the subtext story, the one that isn’t necessarily the focus of the show. So when I’m watching Tidying Up I’m fascinated by the dynamics between the couples, and I can see almost immediately which people are prone to anxiety and which are the more easy-going, laid-back types.

And I sit there thinking: “Those laid-back types. Does anything really bother them? They seem to laugh things off and easily move from moment-to-moment without becoming mired in projections.”

Of course, I realize that I’m watching a tiny slice of these couples’ lives and personalities. Like Facebook, they know they’re on international TV and they’re not likely to air their emotional dirty laundry (only their actual dirty laundry). But I’m watching not their words as much as their energy, the way they look at one another, and especially their degree of reactivity. Anxious/sensitive people are more reactive. Less anxious people allow things to slide off their backs. They laugh more. They don’t take everything so personally.

And what’s even more fascinating for me to realize is that, over the many years of doing this work, my husband and I have become more laid-back people. And the more laid-back we become, the more deeply in love we fall.

What do I mean by “the work”? I mean working actively and daily with fear. I mean seeking help when we’ve reached roadblocks. I mean being devoted to a daily practice. And I mean practicing the Love Laws and Loving Actions that I teach in my Open Your Heart Course, the tools of which were born not only from my work with clients but also from my own marriage.

Love is a Choice

I’ll share one of these powerful tools here, and it’s one that stems from the foundational principle of my work on real love, which is this:

Love is a choice. It’s not only a feeling. It’s not ecstatic fireworks or fluttery butterflies. Love may start there (and it may not) but real love is a choice that we make every single day. It’s an intention and an action.

Let’s take this a bit further and show how this basic premise can help you cultivate feelings of love and attraction.

Since love is a choice, you can choose to see through a fear-lens or you can make the choice to see through eyes of love that perceive the heart essence of your partner. The tricky part here is that we’ve been so culturally conditioned to believe that you’re either attracted and in love or you’re not that it’s difficult for our brains to fathom that we can choose to see our partners through different eyes.

In other words, you can choose to see the same features or characteristics or perceived areas of lack (not social enough, not intellectual enough, not driven enough) through a different lens. As one course member shared, “I used to be repulsed every time I saw my partner’s ponchy belly and would think, ‘Why can’t you exercise more?’ But the more I did my inner work and saw that this was a projection of my own self-judgement about my body and other parts of myself that I criticized under a microscope, the more I softened inside. Then one day I looked at him and thought, ‘You’re so cute and your belly is like a big cuddly teddy bear.’ And I saw in this moment of clear-seeing that his snuggly belly was just like him: warm, safe, cuddly, and my deepest comfort. It was a total shift in my perspective, and that shift made me soften in other ways.”

It’s a practice to see through clear-eyes because fear and anxiety are the default lens for most people (especially those who find their way to my work), and every Love Law and Loving Action in the Open Your Heart Course is designed to support the creation of this new lens, which is literally a new way of seeing. Opening your heart is fundamentally about learning how to let go: how to soften the fear-walls, how to release control, how to yield into the soft, vulnerable heart where you can see your partner’s soft, vulnerable heart. It’s what I see in some of the couples on Tidying Up with Marie Condo and it’s what my husband and I grew into after so many years.

This is my sixth year teaching this course and the 14th round, and thousands of people have learned the Love Laws and Loving Actions that have helped them arrive at a softer heart so that they can let go of the fear that causes the tightening and see their partner through clear eyes and fall in love in the real sense of the phrase. Letting go of control happens in layers. Taking a course like this won’t solve your anxiety or make you feel instantly in love with or attracted to your partner, but it will plant the seeds that will help you begin or continue the process of letting go of fear and reorienting your vision and perspective that will eventually allow you to see your partner through eyes of love. This round starts on March 2, 2019, and I look forward to seeing you there.

Source : - https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how-marie-kondo-can-help-you-fall-in-love-with-your-partner

Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal | #CrazyExGirlfriend

Like Your Life Story, Your Relationship is a Design ... in Progress #valentinesday #Valentine

By Lesley Marcovich

“Will you be my valentine?” Or, “Will you be my partner in designing a magnificent union that is creative, productive, awe-inspiring, and that will stand the test of time?” Sounds like a tall order, but in essence, that’s what a relationship, especially an intimate one, requires.

Like anything built to withstand traffic, climate, and erosion, the relationship needs constant inspection, maintenance, and sometimes, when things get rickety or tired, a renovation ... and sometimes, when things literally crumble to the ground, a complete restoration.

THE FOUNDATION. Respect is the mortar that keeps the foundation solid and immovable; respect for each other’s culture, sex, roots, ambitions, dreams, and life’s journey.

THE WALL. Memories and experiences make up the walls. These aren’t always straight or perfect. Some are solid, some flimsy, some temporary, some immovable. They’re there to define the stages of our shared lives which are forever changing, often working with us; often against.

THE ROOF. The roof is the commitment piece of the relationship, built to withstand the fiercest of storms. No matter what, the roof must hold up. If it doesn’t the rest of the design ends up in rubble.

THE DÉCOR: The décor consists of all the laughter, the colours, the shenanigans, the ‘here today-gone tomorrow’ fluff that keeps us liking each other, that keeps us human, that keeps us sane.

Voilá! There it stands! THE RELATIONSHIP DESIGN!

How is your design holding out? Do you need to redecorate? Need to move a few walls? Put on a brand new roof? Build a stronger or different foundation? It’s never too late to start. And believe me, there’s nothing better than the smell of newly poured concrete, sawdust, and my favourite - fresh paint.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Source - https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/like-your-life-story-your-relationship-is-a-design-in-progress-0

WHEN by Daniel Pink | Core Message

Animated core message from Dan Pink's book 'When'.

Fall Asleep Fast Guided meditation, Deep relaxation Hypnosis for sleep #guidedmeditation #meditation #meditationvacation

Guided meditation to help clear your mind in preparation to fall asleep fast into a deep sleep and full relaxation.
This relaxing sleep time hypnosis will clear negative thought, feelings and energy as you visualise the words and sounds that you hear, intertwined with relaxing music.
you do not have to do anything in this hypnosis, except imagine and picture the scenes brought forward during this guided meditation.
This audio also has affirmations, so as you sleep, those affirming positive words and phrases will be absorbed by your conscious and subconsious mind, helping to relax your mind and body more. As you fall asleep, you will be able to focus more on the comfort that you feel in this present moment, to soften any tension and ease and worries or anxieties.
Thankyou for listening to this meditation, if you found it helpful please share to others that may benefit. Thankyou, Christian.
Please consider subscribing as I upload every week.
Guided meditation deep sleep with this long soothing and relaxation talk down. If you are unable to sleep at night due to wanting change, use this meditation before bedtime or as you drift off to bring deep relaxation.

This guided meditation will help soothe your mind, balance your emotions, heal your mind, stop overthinking and help you into deep relaxation, helping with your sleeping problems. and to fall asleep to. Use this guided sleep meditation as you lay in bed for best results.

These Skills Are Hard To Learn But Pay Off For The Rest of Your Life via - @TheArtOfImprove

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -

BOOK MENTIONED

The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday - UK - https://amzn.to/2CLzvI4The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph UK - Audiobook  - The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph  Audible Audiobook – Unabridged https://amzn.to/2DDG2Gr https://amzn.to/2UmVUmg

The Japanese Formula For Happiness - Ikigai #Happy

Everyone wants to be happy, but it seems like such an unobtainable goal. Should we focus on making money? Should we focus on pursuing our passions? Or should we just become a monk in the mountains. Luckily for us, the Japanese have already cracked the code. They have a formula for happiness called Ikigai.

“I Wanted To Convert People!”

After I had been into self-development for a few years, in the middle of 2005, I learnt about the effect that our thoughts, emotions and beliefs have on how we experience life. I think the first time I had heard about his was when I read ‘The Power of the Subconscious Mind’, by Joseph Murphy.

Shortly after this, I read a number of books by Dr Robert Anthony, followed by a CD program called ‘The Secret of Deliberate Creation’. I was amazed by what I heard and wanted to tell other people about it.

Inner Conflict

Nevertheless, while part of me felt energised by what I was reading and listening to, another part of me was full of doubt. This was a time in my life when I felt powerless and as though I couldn’t do anything to change my life.

So, although part of me wanted to believe that I actually had an effect on my life and that I wasn’t a victim, another part of me just wasn’t having it. And the part of me that didn’t believe this was the part that was the strongest.

The Source

It could be said that it was my unconscious mind that wasn’t on board with this idea; whereas my conscious mind was. This meant that there was a lot for resistance, but this other part of me wasn’t willing to give up

During this time, I learnt how important it was for me to observe my thoughts and to be careful what I think about. Along with all the effort that I was putting in to train my mind, I felt the need to share what I was learning with others.

One Focus

I felt as though I had to share what I as learning, and that it wouldn’t be right for me to keep this to myself. After all, I believed that I was learningabout something that was extremely powerful.

Therefore, I believed that if I held back and didn’t say anything, it would have been similar to me having a cure for a disease and not sharing it with the world. To be more precise, that’s how I saw it at the time.

A Different Outlook

I would talk about this stuff to my family, friends, and anyone who would listen, and in a lot of cases, it wouldn’t go down well. The fact that my life wasn’t completely in order was often seen as a sign that this was a load of rubbish; if it wasn’t, surely my life would be perfect!?

It became clear that a lot of people had closed minds and that they would rather struggle than try another way - a way that might allow them to change their reality. These experiences had a negative effect on me, though, as I wanted them to believe in what I was telling them.

A Hidden Agenda

What this came down to is that not only did I want to have a positive effect on other people; I also wanted other people to agree with me, so that I could silence my own doubt. I thought that if they believed what I was saying, it would make it easier for me to believe it.

The problem was that this rarely happened, as these people would often mirror back my own self-doubt. I remember listening to Dov Baron around this time, this was someone who spoke about the ‘law of resonance, and he said that the best way to show other people was to demonstrate it – to live it and not just talk about it.

I Gradually Got the Message

I came to see that I had the wrong approach, and that it would be far better for me to focus on applying this stuff in my own life and to only bring it up when it was clear that someone would be interested. Through doing this, I would be far more respectful of other people’s boundaries.
​
I thought about the people who I would often hear in a populated area who tried to convert people to a certain religion, and this was not how I wanted to be. I came to see that the less doubt I had, the less I felt the need to convince anyone.

Source: https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/i-wanted-to-convert-people